Abortion
Day 17 after abortion: feelings and support
Day 17 · Recovery after abortion
The body's recovery can be followed with a calendar; there is no such chart for feelings. How you feel on day seventeen does not have to resemble how someone else feels on the same day. You may be relieved, mixed up or somewhere in between.
This page does not tell you what you should feel. It describes which feelings are common and where you can start if you want support. As you read, you do not have to fit yourself into a mould.
Short answer
Is it normal to feel both relieved and mixed up after an abortion?
According to the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG), experiencing different feelings after an abortion is common; relief and mixed feelings are both usual. At SoftCare Clinic, the nurses are trained in patient care and patients can talk to them. If sleeplessness, loss of appetite or being unable to manage daily tasks goes on for a long time, a consultation with the doctor is arranged first.
Feelings
Relief, mixed feelings or both: all are within the usual range.
Soft-coloured circles side by side; each represents a different feeling that can be experienced after an abortion, and some overlap.What feelings are experienced after an abortion?
The RCOG's patient information states that feelings after an abortion differ from woman to woman and that this is common. Some women feel relief, some have mixed feelings, some experience both at the same time. According to our clinic's doctor, the course of the feelings depends on the person's thoughts when coming for the procedure.
None of these indicates a problem, and none is more right than another. You do not owe anyone an explanation for what you feel.
Is it normal if I feel nothing?
Not having a marked feeling is also within the usual range. You may have returned to your daily life and put the procedure behind you; this says nothing negative about you.
Not being able to name your feeling is not a problem either. The point the RCOG emphasises is that there is no single mould that fits everyone.
Who can I talk to if I want support?
Asking for support does not show that something is going wrong. You can choose to talk to someone close whom you trust, or to write; you decide which suits you.
At the clinic, the nurses are trained in patient care; you can talk to them when you call. You do not need to be experiencing a particular feeling to do so.
If sleeplessness, loss of appetite or being unable to manage your daily tasks goes on for a long time, a consultation with the doctor is arranged first; the next steps are planned according to this consultation.
What if people close to me tell me what I should feel?
People around you, even with good intentions, may assign you a feeling: they may think you should be sad, or not affected at all. You do not have to measure your own feelings against these expectations.
Not raising the subject with people you do not want to talk to is also an option; what you share and with whom is up to you.
Do today
- Give yourself time to name what you feel.
- If you wish, talk to someone you trust.
- If you want to talk, call the clinic's nurses.
Don't do today
- Do not compare your feelings with other people's expectations.
- Do not forbid yourself from feeling relieved.
- Do not feel obliged to explain yourself to people you do not want to talk to.
Special note
If you cannot talk to anyone
If nobody around you knows about the procedure, or you cannot find someone to talk to, you can call the clinic. Nurses trained in patient care will listen to you; if considered necessary, a consultation with the doctor will be arranged.
Special note
If your sleep or appetite has been disrupted
If you cannot sleep, cannot eat or cannot manage your daily tasks, and this has been going on for days, let the clinic know. The first step is a consultation with the doctor; the next steps are decided in that consultation.
When should you call?
Call 112 first (if you are abroad, that country's emergency number)
- Fainting: If you faint, call 112 first; if you are abroad, call the emergency number of the country you are in.
Call the clinic straight away
- Heavy bleeding: Soaking 2–3 pads within one hour. A total of 2–3 pads over the whole day is normal.
- Fever: A temperature of 38 °C or higher, or fever together with weakness.
- Severe pain: Severe abdominal or back pain that does not ease with painkillers.
- Foul-smelling discharge: Unusual, foul-smelling vaginal discharge.
- Large clot: Passing a clot the size of a golf ball.
Call the clinic
- If sleeplessness, loss of appetite or being unable to manage your daily tasks continues, call the clinic and ask for a consultation with the doctor.
- Dizziness or shivering: Dizziness, chills and shivering that do not pass.
- Hard abdomen: The abdomen becoming hard, or clear tenderness when touched.
- Burning on urination: Burning or stinging when passing urine.
SoftCare Clinic patients can reach the doctor's assistant or a nurse 24 hours a day; when needed, they contact the doctor. Call whenever you are unsure; what your own doctor tells you always comes first.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to feel relieved after an abortion?
Yes. Relief is one of the feelings experienced after an abortion and is usual. The RCOG writes that experiencing different feelings after the procedure is common. Other feelings may or may not be there alongside relief; neither situation implies a judgement about you.
Can you get psychological support after an abortion?
You can. You do not need to be experiencing a particular feeling to ask for support after an abortion. At SoftCare Clinic the nurses are trained in patient care; you can talk to them. If sleeplessness, loss of appetite or being unable to manage daily tasks goes on for a long time, a consultation with the doctor is arranged first and the next steps are planned accordingly.
Do I have to tell anyone that I had an abortion?
No, this is your decision. You decide with whom, when and how much of the procedure to share. Choosing not to share and telling someone close are both usual. If you feel you have nobody to talk to, you can reach the clinic's nurses; the RCOG notes that support can be asked for after an abortion.
Sources
SoftCare Clinic for your questions
Our patients can reach a nurse and the doctor's assistant 24 hours a day.
This page is for general information; it does not replace an examination or your doctor's advice. Every woman recovers differently. The times and rules your doctor gives you always take priority over those on this page.
Medically reviewed by Op. Dr. Şükrü Sanus, Obstetrician & Gynecologist · Last medical review: